Back Home!!

WOW, I never thought I would ever say that about any state, but my home state. It honestly does feel like my home away from home. It is just so weird to say that, but it is the truth and for once I can actually admit that to myself without feeling bad about saying it.

Everyone asks me why I moved and honestly there is a lot of reasons for the move. One of the main reasons is to get away from family drama. Everywhere you go, I know there will be drama, but your family shouldn't be the reason behind that drama. One day I want to get married and raise a family, but I wouldn't be able to do that back home because of all the drama. At least I know when I get married, it will be better to raise my family here and not have to worry what a family member is going to say or do to cause emotional turmoil in my family. I hate to say it, but honestly that is one of the main reasons and it shouldn't have been a reason at all.

The second main reason is to make a better life for myself and my future family. Jobs are scarce back home right now and I want to make money that I can live a comfortable life and have the opportunity to go back home to my first home in the summers without that worry. There are better opportunities out here then there is in my home state and if it meant moving 11hrs away to do that, I know it was for the best.

The third reason, I wanted to actually say I lived on my own in another state, not even a state over, but many states over. Most people can't even say that, they are still living in the same state that they were raised in and never get the opportunity to live away from home. Most people are scared to and I didn't want to be scared to. I wanted the chance to say look I went to college and lived away from home and now I'm ready for the family life. Most people jump into the family life and sometimes regret the things they missed out on and never had the chance to experience and I didn't want to dwell on that in the back of my mind. Yes, I want to be married and I would love for it to happen now, but God must have a few more lessons to teach me or a few more things for me to see before that happens.

I know I want to experience what God wants me to experience. He obviously has a purpose for me to be out here and this obviously was apart of His plan for my life so lets see where He wants to lead me. You never know what the future holds and He may lead me right back to my home state to raise a family and continue what He has for my life.

Yes, everyday I live with the missing out on birthdays, get-togethers, and many other fun outings and it is hard. It is hard missing out on those amazing milestones in my siblings and niece and nephews' lives. I already missed two birthdays of my nephew and missed for the first time my niece's birthday and it kills me, but I know I have many more opportunities to have with them with birthdays and everything else they will do in life.  I just want to see pictures and I love talking to them when I talk to them on the phone. When I see them, I cherish every moment that I get to spend with them as they grow up way to quickly.

What it comes down to is I miss a lot of things, but I'm also learning a lot of things and doing a lot of things out there to. I know it doesn't make up for the things I miss doing with the family, but it makes it a little bit easier knowing that one day my career will enable me to spend the summer at home with my family. I know God has a reason or reasons for me to be out here or I wouldn't be and I will eventually understand why He has me out here other then the reasons for myself. This was in His plans for my life so I take everyday one day at a time.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)